The Award for "Best Use of Subliminal Language Relating to your Business" Goes to…
Events Team Manager Mark Magee found this gem of gobbledygook in a June 22 8-K from Spartan Motors.
Spartan Motors Announces Business Realignment: Exiting Road Rescue Ambulance Operation, Reducing Operating Costs
CHARLOTTE, Mich., June 22, 2010 – Spartan Motors, Inc. (NASDAQ: SPAR) today announced its intent to exit its Road Rescue ambulance operation as part of the Company’s continuing review of all aspects of its business. The exit will allow Spartan to focus its resources on the highest growth and profit opportunities. The exit from the underperforming Road Rescue operation is expected to be completed by the end of 2010. In addition, Spartan announced a number of actions designed to reduce expenses and better align its cost structure with current levels and mix of demand.
I tell you, if we lived in a world where people could just say what they meant, or, even better, actually knew how to say what they meant, there’d be a lot less humor in it. Now, I’m just going to exit this section of Small Print so I can better align myself with the next section.
Is that like the Twelfth of Never…?
Events Analyst Dovid Muyderman found this shade of Johnny Mathis in Enzon Pharmaceuticals, Inc. option award table in its 2010 proxy.
Yes, I know, I had to read it a couple of times too. So, these options are going to expire on the 38th of September 2014? Now, I like September. It’s a great month. Especially here in Maine. But even I know it doesn’t have 38 days in it. So back to Johnny Mathis:
“Until the twelfth of never and that's a long, long time.”
Oh, and just a thought. That name. Enzon. You gotta change that name.
Silver Hello from Fidelity National Information Services
I already blogged about this company at the time the time of the annual meeting where I got myself a little aerated about that fact that the company was called Fidelity and the only way they could get anyone to be faithful to it was by shoveling spadefuls of cash into a wheelbarrow for them and requiring them to turn up to work for at least a week.
But Compensation Team Leader Scott Patterson has found yet more barrowloads of cash being doled out. He came up with the moniker “Silver Hello” because they were being paid for a demotion. Nice. You see, in relation to a merger with Metavante; Mr. Kennedy was CEO and President and became Executive Vice Chairman and Mr. Scanlon was Executive Vice President and CFO and became Corporate Executive Vice President, Finance. Confusing, I know, and it does sound like a bit of a come down, but – and it is a big but – their company WAS being taken over.
The motivated and focused efforts of Messrs. Kennedy and Scanlon through and during the critical period following the merger were critical to achieving our objectives of properly integrating Metavante into our operations, driving significant synergies after the closing and having a unified post-closing management team consisting of our senior officers and Metavante’s senior officers. However, the changes to Messrs. Kennedy’s and Scanlon’s positions resulting from the Metavante merger would have constituted “good reason” under their employment agreements, which would have given them the right to terminate employment following the merger and receive severance payments under their employment agreements. Because of concerns that Messrs. Kennedy and Scanlon would exercise these rights by terminating employment, we agreed to pay Mr. Kennedy $10,468,302 and Mr. Scanlon $3,000,000 in cancellation of any rights they may have had upon termination of employment under their agreements and in consideration for their agreement to accept their new positions following the merger and to enter into new employment agreements with us.
Well, we know that it was critical, that’s for sure.
But, critically, presumably these people supported the merger in the first place. Critically realized it might lose them their jobs. Critically had all their stock options accelerated alongside a hefty merger premium no doubt. And they were really worried that they were going to turn round and claim constructive dismissal? At this critical period?
If that’s the kind of commitment to the job they were demonstrating, let them go, I say. And who writes these employment agreements, anyway? Oh, yes, that’s right, the executive’s own lawyer.
Paul Hodgson – Senior Research Associate