Now I know that I’m English and believe that most of the world’s ills would be solved with a nice cup of tea, proper tea, that is, with milk, so some of the things that you US-chappies come out with might seem a bit stranger to me than to… well… you US-chappies, but really….
CHICAGO, Dec. 16, 2010 –(BUSINESS WIRE)– Tropicana Products, Inc., a division of PepsiCo, Inc. (NYSE: PEP), announced it is testing a new portable kids snack called Tropicana Tropolis™ – a smooth blend of real squeezable fruit, packed with nutrition, designed for kids. America’s iconic juice brand for more than 50 years, Tropicana created this innovative new food line to help moms squeeze the goodness of fruit into kids’ daily diets by making fruit fun.
With challenges in mind that moms and kids face when it comes to consuming enough fruits and vegetables, Tropicana worked with moms, kids and health experts including dietitians and pediatricians to develop this healthy, delicious, lunchbox and grab-and-go snack. Price, availability and convenience are the three main barriers for moms when it comes to squeezing fruits and vegetables into everyday routines, leaving Americans, including children, short on the five to 13 fruit and vegetable servings recommended for everyday consumption.
And as if that weren’t enough, the press release goes on to say:
The colorful pouch shows kids a glimpse of a whole new Tropicana Tropolis World, while an online universe will allow them to discover the fun in fruit through interactive games.
“The fun in fruit from interactive games”?
Many thanks to compensation analyst Ashley Kotzur, who commented: “Rivals anything that Coke put out the last 12 months.”
Now, wait a minute, “Price, availability and convenience are the three main barriers” to fruit? What, like you can’t pick up a banana and an apple from virtually any petrol station in America? And those cost MORE than a Tropolis? And it’s MORE convenient to rip off the top of a plastic pouch than to bite into an apple?
Boy, somewhere we got lost on the way.
But wait, there’s more.
In a WSJ article about Tropolis “Mehmood Khan, a former Mayo Clinic endocrinologist who heads PepsiCo's nutrition group, said in an interview that it's outdated to think that snacks are dry and beverages are wet.”
Huh? Snacks aren’t always and never have been only dry, but the only dry ‘beverage’ I know of is… a Martini! And what IS wrong with the word “drink”?
The article goes on: “ ‘Consumers don't wake up in the morning and say, 'I'm going to have a whole grain; I want a dairy product,’ Dr. Khan said. ‘They're looking for combinations of those things.’ Dr. Khan wouldn't specify what combinations might come next.”
I tell you, you couldn’t make this stuff up.
Most painful sounding corporate-speak of the week
Events analyst Dovid Muyderman found this in a Stereotaxis 8-K from 5th January.
On January 3, 2011 Stereotaxis, Inc. (the “Company”) entered into a Sixth Amendment and Catheter and Mapping System Extension to the Development Alliance and Supply Agreement (the “Agreement”) with Biosense Webster, Inc. (“Biosense Webster”) which amends the terms of certain agreements between the Company and Biosense Webster.
Never mind the mind boggling, the eyes water!
Another entry in our "Doing your job" Award
Dovid also found this little entry in an 8-K from Cyberonics back on 21st December last year.
On December 15, 2010, the Compensation Committee of the Board of Directors of Cyberonics, Inc. approved a bonus of $40,000 to David S. Wise, Vice President, General Counsel, Human Resources & Secretary, for the successful conclusion of several legal matters.
Yes, that does say “general counsel”, and yes, “general counsel” is usually the person i/c of “legal matters”.
Northrop kind of vague on what "peacekeeping work" actually means… but it sounds nice….
Events team leader Mark Magee found this in a 4th January website release from Northrop Grumman which is, incidentally, in case you miss this from the press release, a defense company.
The U.S. Department of State's Office of Acquisition Management has awarded Northrop Grumman Corporation (NYSE:NOC) three task orders for multinational peacekeeping work in Rwanda, Kenya and Burundi under the African Contingency Operations Training and Assistance (ACOTA) program.
The three task orders have a total value of approximately $8 million, all with one base year. The Kenya and Burundi task orders both have a six-month option period.
"Our most recent task order wins are evidence of our customer's satisfaction and confidence in Northrop Grumman's performance supporting the ACOTA program and the tremendous benefit of the training we provide to African nations with whom we work," said Greg Schmidt, vice president and general manager of Northrop Grumman's Training Solutions Division. "In such an uncertain world of emerging threats to developing democracies, the training support we provide these African nations will contribute to advancing peace for future generations."
The work specified in the contracts involves enhancing the capacity of all three countries to participate in multinational peacekeeping operations. The work consists of peace support operations training, train-the-trainer courses for peacekeeping cadre and capacity enhancement at each country's respective international peace support training center.
"Over the past 11 years, Northrop Grumman's strong performance and continued support of the ACOTA program has forged a trust with the ACOTA partner nations," said Wayne Sylvester, Northrop Grumman ACOTA program manager. "We look forward to the continuing opportunity to assist these strong ACOTA partners as they expand their peacekeeping capabilities."
I didn’t understand any of that. And a defense company’s peacekeeping capabilities might seem somewhat limited to the uninitiated. But then this contract was awarded by the State Department and I’m sure there wasn’t a lobbyist in sight.
Paul Hodgson – Senior Research Associate